Devil May Cry: Revelation
by Kokiiru-kun
Summary: Dante’s life was great. All the pizza he wanted, completely debt free and a giant horde of demons just itching to kill him. Add in a weird kid with insane demonic powers and the resurrection of every evil he’s ever defeated .Yep, just peachy. DMC X Naruto
1. Prologue

Disclaimer: Unfortunately I don't own Naruto or DMC.

"Don't let it get away!"

"Kill the demon!"

Shouts of malevolent glee filled the air as a five year old Naruto ran for his life. Once again it was October 10th, once again he'd ignored the Hokage's warning not to go out today and once again the villagers were out for his blood.

"But I didn't do anything!" Naruto cried, tears beginning to blur his vision as he was overtaken by fear.

"You killed my husband!"

"You murdered my entire family!"

"You Monster!"

"Demon!"

Naruto gave a yelp as he tripped over his feet and landed painfully on the floor. He barely had time to turn over before the villagers were upon him. Heavy blows from blunt and sharp objects alike rained down on his tiny body. Curling up in a ball was all he could do to defend himself but even that was soon rendered ineffective and the little boy felt himself begin to drift away from the pain and misguided hatred.

Within seconds he found himself in front of a large cage sitting neck deep in a pool of water.

"Unbelievable" an annoyed voice muttered "He's a five year old _child!_"

Naruto struggled to his feet flinching as he reopened some of his more serious wounds.

"Umm…" he started, unsure of what to say to the large, and extremely annoyed furry… thing.

"That's the second time this _week_ that he's been attacked and I'm the one that has to pick up the pieces…They won't be satisfied till he slaughters them all."

"Ummm…. Excuse me…. Mr. fuzzy thing?"

Kyuubi stopped mid-rant to stare incredulously at the child.

"What did you just call me…?"

Naruto just stared at him blankly.

"Umm…"

"Not one for intelligent answers are you?"

Not knowing the meaning of the word 'intelligent', Naruto began to stare again and would have continued to do so but a deep gash appeared on his chest soaking his shirt with blood.

"Ow!" he face first into the water clutching his wound as Kyuubi looked on disinterestedly.

"Get up, it's not that deep"

Kyuubi would have ignored him some more had the water around him not begun to bleed red.

"…Dammit." Kyuubi cursed as he began to heal Naruto's wounds. This had been going on for long enough. It seemed like every other week Naruto was beaten within an inch of his life and Kyuubi always had to clean up the mess lest he die along with the blond brat.

"Damn the Fourth Hokage, Damn the Uchiha -" Naruto groaned and rolled over as Kyuubi's charka began to take effect. Unfortunately the relief was short lived- the villagers began to attack him with renewed vigor when they saw his wounds healing.

"And Damn this village!" Kyuubi growled stopping the healing process for a moment to think of a new course of action. If he healed Naruto, they'd just keep attacking him, so the only option seemed to be to get him away from the villagers.

"No place in Konoha will be safe tonight… or any other night for that matter. And even if he were to go to another village, he'd just be sent back. It has to as far away from the elemental countries as possible…" With that Kyuubi began to summon up as much of his charka as he could without killing Naruto. He'd teleport them as far away as he was able while healing the most life threatening of his wounds.

'And damn that shinigami too' he thought before everything went black.


	2. A Chance Meeting

A/N: This takes place after DMC 4 so yes, Nero _will_ be in this. Evil laughter Fear the authoress Nero!!

Disclaimer: Sadly enough I don't own Devil May Cry or else Vergil wouldn't have met such an untimely death.

--

Dante cursed as he dodged the speedy blades of a pack of Lusts. The damned things had popped up in his office and completely wrecked his dinner… that was an hour ago.

"Lady and Trish pick _now_ to be out of town?!" his eye twitched slightly as one of the Lusts rushed past him leaving a deep gash in his side.

"This is fucking ridiculous" he muttered before letting off a Drive with Rebellion, effectively killing about eight or nine of the annoying bastards while simultaneously destroying his jukebox for the umpteenth time. On instinct, he ducked down just in time to avoid being beheaded by the flaming scythe an Abyss.

"Where the hell are these things coming from?!"

Lusts were one thing, but Abysses had earned themselves a permanent spot on his shit list and if he didn't know any better, he'd say his hair had gotten singed.

The longer he fought the more demons appeared and the less space he had to move around in. As much as it bruised his ego, a temporary retreat seemed to be in order. Well… it was either that or risk getting slashed beyond recognition by a room full of demons…

'And I'm just too handsome for that'

He smirked deciding that he would retreat not because he couldn't win like this- no, he could always pull out Pandora, but because it was the 'smart' thing to do.

Besides, if he used Devil Arms, he'd probably end up destroying what was left of Devil May Cry and he'd had the building redone twice in the last six months.

'Heh, using my head…the bastard would be proud'

Dante took a step back but all thoughts of a strategic retreat left him as a Beelzebub flew over him, dropping a nice fat load on his head.

"…"

The air around Dante became saturated with malice and unmistakable hatred towards the evil little bastard that dared take a crap on him. His eyes were hidden in his bangs as his body began to flicker back and forth between his normal form and that of his devil trigger.

He violently shook his head and glowered as a triggered Hell Vanguard appeared, flanked by a gang of Prides, Wraths and a Greed that wasted no time in summoning up some more of its friends.

Dante silently weighed his options. He could barely see the light from outside anymore, his door had long since disappeared behind demons. Even if he tried to escape now, he wouldn't make it out unscathed and a group of demons this size and strength level would destroy the city in minutes.

To make matters worse, Greeds were popping up in every little hole they could find, summoning random demons 3 and 4 at a time and if he wasn't mistaken the ripples in the floor indicated not 1 but 3 Abysses…

He moved to the right as the Beelzebub took aim at him again.

But first _you_ die"

He whipped out Ivory and shot the insect in the head, watching with sadistic glee as it crashed into the group of demons, spraying them with its insides.

Without a moment's hesitation, the horde of demons moved to attack and Dante prepared for what would probably be the last party of his life. And then…. Nothing.

He blinked. "…What the fuck?"

Not two seconds ago Devil May Cry had been full up with demons but now every single one of them was gone. Hell, even the rotting carcass of that Beelzebub had made an exit.

Holding Rebellion at ready, Dante stepped cautiously outside and what he saw astounded him. The demons that had been ready to rip him limb from limb were now attacking what appeared to be a 5 year old child, and an unconscious one at that.

"Well, I'll be damned" Dante whistled as the kid drove a fist through the head of one of the Hell Vanguards before setting it's body ablaze and chucking it at the group of Greeds. The attack was so fast that human eyes would have missed it and even Dante had had a bit of difficulty following it.

The blonde haired child glowed an ominous red as he dashed through the crowd of demons, picking them apart one by one until all that was left were the Abysses.

Dante would have thought he was sizing them up if not for the fact that his eyes were closed.

Letting out a blood curdling shrieks, the Abysses disappeared into the ground, the area around them rippling as they traveled between dimensions.(1)

Dante scanned the street for signs of an attack but the Abysses were nowhere to be found… Until he happened to look up that is.

"Hey ki-" before he could get off a warning the child had already jumped into the air kicking one Abyss in the stomach while elbowing another in the face. Unfortunately this left him open for attack from the third Abyss and it hit him. Hard.

The crater the kid left in the pavement rivaled the one he'd made when Beowulf had decided to squash him into the ground in Temen-Ni-Gru.

In an instant Dante was off running towards the kid who was now on the wrong end of a scythe only to be blown back by a massive wave of red energy.

It was almost comical how the kid pulled a scythe more than 2 times his size out of his stomach before using it to cut the abyss in half.

The other two made running slashes at him but the kid jumped into the air slicing one apart through its middle and kicking the other in the back. By the time the remaining Abyss bounced back from the blow, the kid was ready with a fist glowing with the weird red energy. There was a sickening squelch as the small fist went through the Abyss's body and the demon disintegrated from the inside out.

Dante put Rebellion on his back and sighed.

"Things were just looking up too" he turned to take a look at his office which was as usual, completely destroyed.

"Well… at least the outside loo-" the archway of the shop chose that moment to collapse forcing Dante to jump away or be crushed.

"Dammit!"

He turned to glare at the child "I hope you…"

"…"

Dante could only stare as the kid that had single-handedly decimated an insanely large group of demons not 5 minutes ago, collapsed to the ground fast asleep, and sucking his thumb.

--

(1) It makes my head hurt less when I assume that when Abysses disappear into the ground they go into another dimension rather than violate the laws of physics. And if they don't… hey it's fiction. --


	3. Remembrance

Disclaimer: If I owned them, it would be against the law for any relative of Sparda to wear a shirt.

--

Dante let an uncharacteristic scowl cover his face as he surveyed the damage dome to Devil May Cry. His office had once again been effectively destroyed and all that remained of his brand new leather couch was a large chunk of cushion.

Sometimes he swore there was some random deity somewhere that hated him.

The child laying unconscious on the cushion went through yet another fit of vomiting, coating his floor for the second time in a half hour.

Yeah, someone definitely hated him.

After the boy had fallen unconscious Dante had gone over and picked him up… or at least tried to. He'd hardly gotten within a foot of the boy when a large red tail had sprouted from his rear and taken a swing at him.

Out of reflex, Dante had countered with Rebellion but to his surprise the sword had no effect. The tail had moved through the sword, badly burning his arm. It would have continued on to the rest of his body if the boy hadn't suddenly convulsed, barfing up blood and what could have possibly been his breakfast.

Dante dropped Rebellion and stared at his burnt arm with mixed emotions. Most of it was annoyance. Contrary to popular belief he didn't enjoy being stabbed, slashed, crushed, impaled or maimed. He was just really unlucky. But what got Dante going wasn't that it hurt- no that was a given- but the fact that his arm wasn't _healing_.

He'd been run through with his own Devil Arms multiple times, but he'd always healed near instantly. He'd only been burned once before in his life and that… well, cheating on a pyromaniac with her sister is just asking for it.

He tried to move his fingers and was rewarded with wave after wave of pain. It was as if his arm had been roasted from the inside out- like every nerve and muscle had been soaked in lighter fluid and char broiled.

Dante glared down at the child. Even Nero hadn't been this much of a pain in the ass and he'd thrown a 2 story stone sword at him. The blonde convulsed again and Dante's glare softened. Dangerous or not, this _was_ still a 5 year old kid and now that he really looked at him, he seemed to be covered head to toe in various bruises.

Without a second thought Dante picked the kid up with his good arm and carefully slung him over his shoulder, picking up Rebellion on the way back into Devil May Cry.

"This is gonna be a long day…" he thought out loud.

--

Kyuubi grumbled in annoyance. He'd heard the phrase 'shit happens' hell he was a walking example of it, but this was ridiculous. He'd teleported out of one mob and into another. Only these had been much harder to kill and had done significantly more damage to his winy host. 'That hurt! It stabbed me! I'm _bleeding'_ Kyuubi had barely bit back the words 'suck it up'.

He was decently sure the things that had attacked them were demons through of what sort he wasn't sure. All he knew was that he'd been… wherever they were for less than 10 seconds before the demons had started attacking in absurdly large numbers. Kyuubi had taken over momentarily due to his hosts lack training both in fighting and in the utilization of their seal only to fight an uneven battle for the entertainment of some dimwitted human who sat back and watched as he took on the onslaught of demons. You'd think someone with a sword that large would be able to use it-.

"Fuzzy-chan?"

Kyuubi cringed at the sound of his new 'nickname'.

"For the last time Naruto, I have a name and it's not _Fuzzy-chan_"

"But you are fuzzy and my stomach hurts" the blond whined.

Kyuubi regarded the boy seriously for a moment. Their charka networks had been behaving oddly since they arrived and for all the time he'd spent healing it, most of the damage done to Naruto's body by the villagers had reappeared, including a rather nasty stab to the stomach with a poisoned kunai.

'And being run through with a scythe didn't help matters either' he though as the five year old sat down in front of his cage.

He took a moment to check the surroundings outside of their mindscape and smirked. It seemed that the odd human had had the decency to take them inside and place them on the remnants of a couch, which Naruto had unconsciously rewarded with load after load of barf. It served him right for letting them fight alone.

The fox suppressed a snicker as the man slipped and landed face first in the remains of Naruto's breakfast: ramen, and their age old enemy, spoiled milk. To this day Naruto still didn't understand that you aren't supposed to be able to chew your milk... The man got up and in an act of frustration threw his sword at the closest wall.

To Kyuubi's surprise, it went _through_ it and he decided then and there that it would be in their best interest to befriend this strange human… if that was indeed what he was.

--

Ten minutes after his embarrassing fall, Dante returned to his office to see the child sleeping soundly. He glared at him for what seemed like the hundredth time that day-he'd only known the kid for a half hour and he'd already raised hell… literally. Demons of that level didn't just appear randomly, especially not in large numbers like that.

He nodded to his doppelganger who immediately left for wherever he stayed when Dante wasn't using him. He wasn't so irresponsible that he'd leave a wounded child alone in a room, but there was no way he was going a minute longer than necessary with anyone's barf on his body. Who says you shouldn't have an extra set or two of the same outfit on-hand?

At least his doppelganger had managed to clean up the mess the kid had made. One of the perks of mastering the skill was that the shadow clone could do whatever he wanted it to…without Dante having to do a thing. Quite useful for when Trish popped up out of the blue for her bi-monthly crusades on his diet plan.

He paused for a moment to look down at his mostly healed hand. It was repairing itself, albeit slowly. He wanted to ask the kid about that but unconscious kids tell no tales… unless you're Nero.

Dante snickered. Nero had a habit of talking in his sleep about things he'd never say if he were awake. Oh, the blackmail material he'd collected…

He walked over to poke the kid but though better of it and reached for a nearby stick instead. He wasn't taking any chances this time… He poked the boy lightly in the side, discarding the stick when he wasn't attacked by any random appendages.

"Hey" he poked the boy again, a little harder this time, but the most he did was roll over.

"Kid" Dante not so gently flicked him on the head. The boy scowled in his sleep and kicked at him before returning to a peaceful slumber.

"Well then, this requires desperate measures" Dante grinned. He'd been wanting to use this prank on Nero for some time now but every time he went near him, his arm lit up like Christmas lights on steroids.

'But he gets pissy if I call him a human glow stick'

The devil hunter gave the blond a last glance before heading for the basement. His wounds appeared to be healing…rapidly, so it wasn't necessary for him to call back his doppelganger and Dante doubted that he'd wake up any time soon.

He climbed down the stairs into the little known and underused portion of Devil May Cry known as a basement. He'd always had it; he'd just never really had a use for it… until the 'incident' a year ago.

-Flashback-

Dante twitched as for the fourth time in an hour, Lady shot him in the head. She called it anger management; he called it abuse- even if it _was_ well deserved.

He, Lady and Trish had gone out together on a mission, something that didn't happen everyday. Usually when the girls got together they went shopping and put it on Dante's tab, but that one day, they decided to get together… just for old times sake.

To say it wasn't worth it would have been an understatement. The old Lady who'd called them swore her house had been overrun when all she had was a blood goyle. One. Blood goyle. It took them all of three seconds to kill the thing. Two to fight over who got to kill it and another one to actually shoot it.

They would have gone straight back to Devil May Cry but the old Lady invited them for dinner and it turned out she had a really hot daughter who conveniently showed up right when they were about to leave. So Dante stayed for dinner and Lady and Trish stayed to keep him out of trouble.

It turned out that Dante had been in trouble the moment he left Devil May Cry with the door wide open.

"Only you could leave the front door to your house open!" Lady resisted the urge to shoot him again.

"_Technically_ it's my office not-"

"You live there don't you?"

"Well… yeah…" Dante scratched his head. He'd lost this argument before it even started.

"Can you two focus?! _Please?_" Trish snapped at them from the cell phone in Lady's hand.

Right. They were on a job. They had to retrieve the Devil Arms that had been unwittingly unleashed on the general public by a bunch of idiots.

--

A passing group of boys had come in since their leader needed to use the bathroom only to find it empty. Or so they thought.

"_Brother, look! We have company!"_

"_Wonderful! In Master Dante's absence we must be affable hosts!"_

"Who said that?!" one of the boys asked.

"_Please! Feel free to use the facilities of our home as your own!"_

"_What is ours is yours!"_

"Dude…did that sword just talk? A second boy walked over to the wall where Agni and Rudra hung. He reached for the sword and set off a chain reaction that would haunt Dante for the rest of his unnatural life.

Upon being touched, the swords vibrated before being engulfed in a bright light that blinded the boy making him stumble into the wall and knock down a fair number of Devil Arms all of which landed on him before beginning to glow as well.

By the time the boys could see again, the room was filled with assorted… _things_ that for the most part, they never hoped to see again. Then all at once the monsters fled, leaving behind a rather large hole in the wall and a bewildered group of boys with a leader who all of a sudden, didn't need to use the bathroom anymore.

This ladies and gentlemen is why 'normal' humans don't get to play with devil arms.

--

"SPAWN!" A rough voice cut through the air and Dante proceeded to whack his head on the nearest hard object.

"COME FORTH SPAWN OF THE EXCRETEMENT AND FACE ME!"

'Why, God? Why? _Anything_ but the cat' Dante looked up to see Beowulf standing in a nearby football field staring at him with intensity only Vergil could've matched.

"After you" Lady said in a tone dripping with sarcasm as she sat down on a bench.

Dante walked over to the rabid feline cautiously. Sure he _could_ just fight Beowulf again, but the last time Dante had faced him, the bastard only had one eye and even then he'd ended up being flattened on paved stone, surviving only due to a _really_ lucky shot. Not that he'd admit it out loud.

"YOU WILL FIGHT ME SPAWN!"

"Do we really have to do this?" Dante looked up at him tiredly. As it was he'd already hunted down 10 Devil Arms, and most of them he'd had to fight again to return them to their weapon forms, the only exceptions being Agni and Rudra and Nevan. Apparently the swords had only run away from Devil May Cry because everyone else had and Nevan just wanted to go shopping.

"And my name is not '_spawn_'".

"SILENCE! YOU ARE THE SPAWN OF THE EXCRETEMENT SPARDA!"

"You can't just turn back into gauntlets like a nice Kitty?"

"DIE!"

Well a guy could hope right?

--

It had taken nearly an hour to subdue Beowulf a task made all the more annoying by the small crowd of spectators and the feline's need to insult him. Somehow Beowulf's attacks had gotten stronger since reverting to his original form, and with his vision fully restored… well let's just say Dante hadn't come away from the battle unscathed.

Lady had the nerve to applaud him when he limped over to her holding his new gauntlets. It was odd… for some reason Beowulf, like all the other Devil Arms he'd recaptured, had transformed.

He was most definitely stronger-his broken ribs could attest to that, but like all the others his physical appearance had changed as well. Where some Devil Arms had gained new attachments and features, Beowulf had inverted his colors.

"YOU HAVE NOT DEFEATED ME SPAWN, I WILL HAVE MY VENGENCE!"

He'd also gained the ability to talk.

"Someone hates me…" He tossed Beowulf in the now empty sack he'd been collecting Devil Arms in, ignoring Beowulf's threats of a pain filled death

Lady choked on laughter and he glared at her. He was about to comment when a nearby bar door suddenly erupted in flames, allowing a terrified human to try and scramble away.

Dante sighed and walked over to the man who was staring at the now charred bar entrance with absolute horror.

"What's the problem?"

"Keep that crazy bitch away from me!" The man ducked low as a fireball shot out of the door with the intent of beheading him.

"You will watch your language when around a Lady" a formally dressed redhead strutted out of the bar with a crowd of people looking after. No doubt checking out her- "Or I will watch it for you" she glowered at the man throwing another fire ball to prove a point.

"B…But I didn't do anything!"

She threw another fireball but Dante batted it away with Rebellion, cursing mentally when the stray ball landed on the bag containing Beowulf, setting it ablaze.

"FOUL SPAWN!"

"Who _are_ you?" Dante asked, extremely irritated as Lady tossed water on what was left of the bag.

"Do you not recognize me? I am Ifrit.

" Ifrit…You're a _chick_?! Dante gaped at the red haired demon in front of him.

"You were expecting something else?"

"I always thought you were… Never mind. Please tell me you're just going to come home with me" Dante gave her the puppy eyes. Nobody could resist the puppy eyes…

"I've been around you _far_ too long for that to work on me" Ifrit chirped "and besides, I was only inside the bar to ask for directions back to Devil May Cry. Or at least that's what I _was_ doing until this… this… _pervert_ crossed my path".

"But then why'd you leave in the first place?" Dante stabbed Rebellion into the ground, alarmingly close to the guy's crotch. Hitting on Ifrit was like hitting on Trish.

"Nevan dragged me" the redhead pouted "she said we should have a girl's day out. We planned on coming back before you returned home but I got separated from her and I've been lost ever since".

"…" Dante stared at her.

"What"

The devil hunter just pointed down the street to the shop with the large hole in the front.

"Oh… Well then…I'll be going now". The demoness set off towards Devil May Cry leaving behind a confused Dante.

"Hey wait! Can I at least get your numbe-" there was a dull thud as Beowulf (who was now inside a new bag) made contact with the guy's skull, effectively knocking him out.

"PROCREATIVE PARTNER OF SPAWN! HOW DARE YOU HANDLE ME IN SUCH A WAY?!" came Beowulf's muffled protest.

"Procreative… Partner…?" Lady stared at the bag in disbelief her left hand unconsciously moving towards the mini rocket launcher in her back pocket.

Before all hell could break loose Dante ran up, grabbed the bag and threw it to Ifrit "For the love of God _take him with you_!" he yelped.

"As you wish" she smiled, easily catching the bag.

"UNHAND ME YOU WHO CONSORTS WITH SPA-" Ifrit whacked the bag _hard_ on the pavement and all was quiet.

_-End Flashback-_

Just thinking about it gave him a headache.

Dante opened the newly installed Devil Arm vault, glaring at Beowulf as he passed.

"Spawn…" he snorted.

'Even in his sleep, this guy's a royal pain in the ass' he picked up Cerberus and headed out.

"Pretty…Spawn…" Ifrit and the few other Devil Arms that could talk, snorted as Dante visibly twitched before setting off at a run, the door automatically closing behind him.

--

Kyuubi shivered as a sense of foreboding washed over him.

"Naruto, it's time for you to get up" he looked around his cage nervously. Whatever it was, it was close…he could almost taste it.

"Why? I wanna stay here with you"

He couldn't figure out what it was. It felt so familiar and yet…

"I can't use my charka to look around at the moment. I need you to get up. You can come back later". His fur was beginning to stand on end.

"Promise?" Naruto looked at him expectantly.

"Yes, yes I promise, now-"

By the time Kyuubi realized exactly what was wrong, it was too late.

--

A/N: My longest chapter yet! And thanks to the people who reviewed!


	4. Furball

Disclaimer: I bid for on them for ownership but I lost *sob*. And I don't own Phish Food ice-cream.

AN: Merry Christmas everybody!

---

Dante grinned as the kid took off across the bathroom.

'Wish I'd done this in the first place'

After retrieving Cerberus, Dante had filled a small tub with water and dipped the nun-chucks in it, instructing him to make the water as cold as possible without actually freezing it.

The sandal clad blonde's toe had barely touched the water before he ran off screaming bloody murder.

Dante sauntered over to the boy who was attempting to bury himself in the mini-linen closet. He'd gotten tired of Trish's occasional teasing about coming out of the bathroom naked.

'**Water… **_**cold**_** water… you mother-"**

"Nice to see you're finally awake" He smirked at the blond who just stared at him with wide eyes.

'**Son of a bitch I **_**hate**_** cold water!' **Kyuubi continued to spout off random profanities that only Naruto could hear and like any curious 5 year old…

"What's a fucktard?"

Both Dante and Kyuubi's jaws dropped simultaneously.

"W-what?"

'…_**He can hear me…?'**_

"Fu-"

"**Don't repeat what I say!"** The fox roared.

Naruto flinched before retreating into the towels and starting to cry.

To say Dante was confused would be a gross understatement. First the kid runs faster than Lady's cheating ex-boyfriend, then proceeds to use a swear word that he himself didn't learn until at least age 8. And then to top it off, all he did was ask a question and the kid starts crying like he snapped at him or something.

"Err… It's alright?" Dante tried uncertainly.

Naruto hiccupped before continuing to cry though it wasn't as loud as before.

"Well it's an improvement…"

Dante slowly reached out a hand to the crying child, watching for any signs of randomly attacking body parts.

"I'm not trying to hurt you…" he tried again "I'm just-" he paused for a second. What _was_ he trying to do anyway? Since when was consoling weird children one of his strong points? Unless Nero suddenly decided to grow a pair, the Sparda line was most definitely ending with him.

"**And that's why you don't repeat everything you hear people say"** Kyuubi finished what he hoped was an effective speech. He hadn't meant to scare Naruto or anything, but he wasn't expecting him to be able to hear his tirade, much less repeat a portion of it.

Dante shook his head reaching into the pile of towels only to pull it back quickly.

"Shit!" he swore sucking on his now bleeding finger. He tries to help him out and the little bastard tries to take his finger off!

"What in the hell was that for?!" Dante growled ripping away the towels covering the child from sight. He was surprised to see the blonds bright blue eyes completely filled with terror. You'd think he was expecting someone to hit him…

Dante sighed, deciding to try a new plan of action "Look what I've got…" he pulled a chocolate bar out of his pocket and before he could even unwrapped it, the boy had bounded out the mini-closet and tackled him to the floor.

"Can I have chocolate? Can I? Can I? _Can I?_

"**God, Why?" **Kyuubi covered his face with his paws.

As to why Dante had a bar of chocolate in his pocket or even how it managed to fit in his leather pants… the world may never know.

Dante handed the bar to the boy wordlessly who unwrapped it faster than he could blink.

"This isn't poisoned is it? He paused "Cause poison stuff really hurts my tummy…" He looked distant for a moment before focusing on Dante.

Said devil hunter raised an eyebrow "Poisoned, huh?" He reached for the bar, ignoring how the boy tensed and broke it in two, eating half and leaving the rest for the blonde who, finding his answer satisfactory, devoured it.

"More chocolate! More chocolate!" Naruto screamed, bouncing on Dante's chest. He paused for a second "Pleeeeease?"

"I'll give you all the chocolate if you would just get _off_ me!" Dante ground out. Almost immediately the boy jumped off the poor devil hunter, abandoning his bouncing to stand and stare at him.

"Got a name, kid?" Dante asked wearily as he stood up, massaging his now aching chest.

"Uzumaki!" He started running around Dante in a circle "Naruto!"

"So I should call you…?"

"Naruto!" he said in a sing-song voice.

"Happy little thing aren't you?" Dante said watching as the boy continued to run around in a circle. If this kept up he was going to wear a hole in the tile floor.

"Come on, I still owe you some chocolate" Dante headed for the door with a bouncing blond right behind him.

"**This is going to be a **_**really**_** long day…"**

---

An hour later Naruto was climbing up the walls of Devil May Cry and Dante was just about ready to pull his hair out. He thought that giving the kid more chocolate would settle him down and possibly get him to tell him where he came from. Hell, he'd even bought a gallon of phish food ice-cream… not that he'd actually gotten any. Dante eventually figured out that Naruto was a bottomless pit when it came to sweets.

And that it made him worse to deal with than a hyperactive hamster.

"Naruto?" Dante ventured "Don't you want to do something else? You know, besides decimating what's left of my shop?"

"Shop! Hop! Dante flinched as Naruto went head first into a support beam, bouncing back at least two feet.

"Ow…" Naruto whined.

"Took the words right out of my mouth, kid" Dante said walking over to him.

"You're an idiot, you know that?"

"Huh…?" his steps faltered as, in a puff of smoke, a small and decidedly cute red fox appeared next to Naruto, taking a moment to glare pointedly at the devil hunter before helping the boy up.

Naruto blinked once before squealing and putting the poor fox into what would soon come to be known as his patented 'grip of death'.

"Fuzzy-sensei!"

"Le… go…" the fox choked out.

"It talks?" Dante raised an eyebrow as the fox whacked Naruto upside the head with its tail before scampering a safe distance away.

It took a moment to catch its breath before rounding on Dante "Just how stupid are you?!"

"Pardon?" It wasn't every day that he got insulted by furry woodland animals. Mutated cat thing yes, but a growling ball of fluff? Eh… not so much.

"Let's play tag Fuzzy-sensei!"

"Who gives a five year old half his weight in chocolate bars _and_ a gallon of ice-cream?" Kyuubi asked, irritated and determined to ignore Naruto's pet name for him.

Dante bristled "I didn't _give_ it to him and just who the hell are you?!"

The fox continued to glare at him "Kyuubi".

"Come again?"

"It's my name geni-" Kyuubi was cut short when Naruto decided to smack him on the back hard enough to send him flying into the nearest wall.

"Tag! You're it!" the blond said before starting to run around again.

Kyuubi laid twitching in a pile of rubble for a moment trying to figure out if he was ready for the 'eternity' of suffering that would go along with killing Naruto himself when he was dug out and hoisted up by the scruff of his neck.

"You look like you could use some help there fur ball" Dante said while grinning cheekily.

"Call me fur ball again and I'll rip you a new one" Kyuubi snapped trying to get loose from Dante's grip.

"Now that's not very nice" Dante chided while he held the fox up in front of his face "besides you're too ador- aack!"

Kyuubi had channeled a small amount of chakra into his tail and slammed it into Dante's stomach giving him his second burn of the day.

"What the hell _is_ that?!" Dante glared at the now smug looking Kyuubi as he held his stomach.

If his arm was any indication, this was going to leave a nasty scar.

"Chakra" the fox said simply.

"Cha- what?"

Kyuubi twitched in annoyance. Only he could manage to transport them somewhere where chakra and ninjutsu were non-existent.

"Can we talk over tea or something? Anything's fine… so long as it isn't caffeinated" he added glancing at Naruto who was unknowingly channeling chakra through his feet allowing him to stick to the walls and ceiling.

Dante took a look at Naruto and sighed. Tea… Right. Intuition told him he was gonna need something a lot stronger.

---

A half hour later the three of them could be found in the remnants of Dante's kitchen. The fox was situated in front of a cup of decaffeinated, sugar free tea, Dante was nursing a mostly empty bottle of brandy and Naruto was duct taped to a chair.

"So let me get this straight" Dante started "You're a 10,000 year old, nine tailed fox"

"Right" Kyuubi stared at the tea. He couldn't very well lap at it- he'd burn his tongue.

"You were sealed in that… _kid_'_s _stomach" he nodded at Naruto who was trying to break free of his restraints "and for reasons unknown to you, you ended up at my doorstep".

"Bingo. You're smarter than you look, Dante" Kyuubi grinned.

"Wait, when'd you get my…" he trailed off as Kyuubi picked up a neatly written, purple, scented post-it with his tail.

"_Dante, thanks for the-"_

Said devil hunter snatched it and had the decency to blush.

Kyuubi poked at the cup with his paw before trying something he hadn't done in years.

"Kitsune Henge!"

The kitchen was temporarily filled with smoke and when it cleared, the small fox had disappeared in favor of a much older looking, red haired version of Naruto.

"Much better" Kyuubi said, picking up his cup of tea.

"…" Dante's jaw dropped and Kyuubi raised an eyebrow.

"Haven't you ever seen a kitsune before?"

Dante took another swig of his bottle before pointing to at Kyuubi's chest. Apparently there was something the fox had overlooked.

Sure Kyuubi looked like an older version of Naruto, but well… Naruto wasn't a female... Minor detail.

Naruto tilted his head to the side as he observed the scene in front of him. Kyuubi had the figure of an 18 year old girl in _extremely _small clothing and Dante was trying desperately to stop a massive nosebleed.

"For fucks sake…" Kyuubi grumbled henging again. This time when the smoke cleared, there sat a 10 year old red headed boy in black sweat pants and a crimson T-shirt "Sorry about that… It's been a while since I used that tech-" there was another poof as Naruto transformed into a perfect blond imitation of a female Kyuubi.

"Naruto…!" Kyuubi hit him on the head and the boy changed back, but not before a loud thud was heard. The fox sighed as he finished his tea before going around the table to kick at Dante who'd passed out on the floor in a growing pool of blood.

--

Gotta love torturing Dante… ^-^


	5. A Fatal Attraction

Disclaimer: I bid on Vergil and lost *sob*

AN: Over 1,000 hits! Woot!

---

Dante groaned as he rolled over onto his stomach- or at least tried to. He cracked an eye open to find himself in the corner of his office with a petrified looking, Naruto still duct taped in to his chair and laying on top of him.

Before he could ask what was going on, Kyuubi came crashing through a nearby wall with a rabid looking pack of scarecrows en-tow.

"Haven't even moved in yet and you're already throwing your own parties…" Dante moved Naruto off him before lazily holding out his arm as Rebellion teleported itself into his grasp.

"Stop being a lazy bastard and help me!" Kyuubi snapped while clumsily going through hand seals.

As a nine-tailed fox, Kyuubi had seen a lot of things and knew hundreds of thousands of jutsu… but they were all useless to him if he couldn't properly do the hand seals.

"_Katon: Housenka no jutsu!" _Dante ducked as Kyuubi launched some very badly aimed fireballs around the shop. Coincidently enough, most of them managed to hit something and a fair portion of the scarecrows were destroyed.

"Show off" Dante muttered while slicing apart a Pride that had snuck up to Naruto. He flicked his wrist and cut apart the duct tape figuring it would be better if the kid went and hid somewhere, but upon being cut loose Naruto did something most would consider insanely stupid.

He ran right into the middle of the newest wave of demons.

"Dammit!" Kyuubi cursed trying to get over to him, but he was cut off by a Lust.

Dante was about to jump in and save him when he heard the blonde repeat what Kyuubi had said moments before.

"_Katon_!" he started

"You can't use fire jut-"

"_Housenka no jutsu!_" Both Dante and Kyuubi stopped and stared dumbfounded as everything within a 5 foot radius of Naruto was incinerated.

Dante whistled "You two are just full of surprises"

Naruto looked around stupidly at the charred demon remains before burping up a puff of smoke and passing out.

Kyuubi caught the blond just before he hit the floor. Honestly the kid was weird enough without adding brain damage to the list.

He picked up Naruto and turned around only to freeze as he felt the cold metal of a gun pressed to the back of his head.

"Don't move, demon"

He turned slightly and out of the corner of his eye he could see a tall blond woman in what looked to be a slightly tattered black corset.

"Trish?" Dante walked over to them completely ignoring the fact that the woman had a gun to Kyuubi's head.

"It figures you'd be at the center of all this" she muttered cocking her gun.

"W-wait a minute! What're you doing?!" Kyuubi panicked. Demon or not, he wasn't sure what the damage would be from one of those metal things at close range. He'd deny it later, but he flinched when he heard a gunshot and opened his eyes only when he realized he wasn't in immense pain.

At the last second Trish had shot a Pride that had been trying to sneak up on them, showering Kyuubi and a still unconscious Naruto with sand.

"What the hell was that for?" Kyuubi growled at her, holding Naruto in one arm while trying to beat the sand out of his hair with the other.

"Men have no manners" Trish sighed before pointing her gun at Dante and shooting him in the head.

Kyuubi blinked at her with a newfound respect and Dante rubbed his forehead in annoyance "Well hello to you too. Wanna tell me what that was for?"

"For cutting off my credit card and getting yourself into trouble again".

"But I haven't done anything!" Dante argued

"Then why are thousands of demons migrating out of hell and killing each other off to get here?"

Dante shrugged "Probably wonder boy over there. I was wondering why we were getting so much attention lately…"

"Wonder boy?" Trish raised an eyebrow and looked down at Kyuubi who started sweating under her gaze. There was something about Trish that made him want to run away with his tail between his legs and cower in the nearest corner.

"Umm…" this coming from the demon fox who could stare down the shinigami without batting an eyelash.

"Don't worry buddy" Dante smirked at him as he walked over "The fear's natural".

"What's that supposed to mean?" Trish glared at him.

"That you scare little children" The fox demon twitched slightly at this.

Trish raised her gun again and Kyuubi cleared his throat "Could you two continue your lovers spat some other time?"

Nobody ever said all Kitsunes were bright.

---

An hour, a bath and 3 battles later, Trish, Kyuubi, Dante, and a now conscious Naruto found themselves in a nearby Italian restaurant- the latter two attacking their 5th pie of pizza with Kyuubi sulking about being pistol whipped and shot.

'Crazy bitch' Kyuubi thought darkly.

Trish's eyebrow twitched for a moment before she kicked Kyuubi under the table.

"I didn't say that out loud!"

"She's got this weird 'mother sense' thing" Dante explained through a mouth full of food.

"Eww…" Trish shook her head while she took her chances and snatched a slice.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Kyuubi attempted to grab a slice as well only to be scratched at by Naruto. And he thought the blonde's addiction to ramen was bad…

"Just because you didn't say it out loud, it doesn't mean she can't hear it" he said before reaching for the last slice only to be met by Naruto.

"…"

"…"

They were about to start fighting over it when Trish surprised them by grabbing it and handing it to Kyuubi.

The fox grinned at her before putting Dante to shame by swallowing the slice whole.

"Hey!" Dante and Naruto glared at him while Trish just shook her head.

"You know you're supposed to chew that right…?"

Kyuubi shrugged in response. God forbid his mother see him now- she'd probably chase him around with a broom at his lack of table manners. He shivered at the thought.

"Ah well…" Dante muttered before looking around the table "Now that we've all been more or less fed, let's get to work solving our current problem… the black hole over here" he finished by pointing at Naruto.

"I'm not a black hole" Naruto stuck his tongue out.

"You had 2 _pies_ of pizza" Kyuubi pointed out.

"So? I'm not a hole!"

"_Anyway" _Trish cut in "All the demons are being attracted to your demonic energy-"

"Chakra" Kyuubi cut in.

"Fine, _chakra_" she said narrowing her eyes at him "We have to find a way to cut it off".

"Why" Naruto asked, cocking his head to the side.

"Because demons are being attracted to it like flies" Trish answered "And not just the small fries either. Demons are migrating from the deepest pits of hell to get a piece of you two… "

---

Dante had given her the abbreviated version of Kyuubi's existence on the way to the restaurant.

Trish had thought on it for a minute before getting it into her head that Kyuubi's body was nothing but a 'half assed attempt at freedom' and to try and prove her point she'd shot him in the stomach.

All of this, of course, came after Kyuubi compared Trish's hair to a drowned rat.

Not only did some of Kyuubi's chakra flair up- which caused another wave of demons to attack, but for some reason, Naruto had ended up with a gunshot wound as well. After a few mishaps, they figured out that any serious damage done to Kyuubi's body was automatically dealt to Naruto's.

"Not. A. Word." Trish glared at Dante's badly hidden laughter after the attacking demons managed to cover her in slime.

---

"The problem is that the demons already in the general area are being drawn to you whether you're fighting or not, and when you _do_ fight, you let off a lot of your 'chakra' and attract demons from a lot farther away". Dante stroked his chin for a moment "what we need to do is seal off some of that energy of yours".

"Some…?" Trish raised an eyebrow "I got off the phone with Lady a few hours ago. She's in Germany fighting off a greater demon- we're going to need to seal off a lot more than _some_".

"Okay, most of it." Dante shrugged. Naruto on the other hand had gotten quiet- something that Kyuubi knew from experience was never a good thing.

"But that means that Fuzzy-sensei would have to go away…"

"Technically he'd still be in your gut-" Dante started.

"But I don't want him to go away!" Naruto had started crying and Kyuubi felt the now familiar twinge in his stomach that happened only when Naruto pulled at his chakra.

"Naruto! Wai-" Kyuubi was cut off as the wall off to their right exploded and a pack of Frosts barged in.

"Oh come on!" Dante whined "this is the one pizza place that _hasn't_ banned me yet!"

The owner of said pizza place took that moment to come out and see what all the commotion was. She glanced at the demons before turning to look at Dante, mouthing the words 'You're banned' and ducking for cover.

"Dammit" Dante muttered.

"Looks like you've got a bit of a rep "Trish snickered "how else would she know you were behind this?"

"But it wasn't me! It was the kid… kid?"

Naruto was nowhere to be found and Kyuubi had made an exit as well, leaving the duo to face a mob of very angry demons.

"This day just keeps getting better and better" Dante muttered

---

"Dammit Naruto, slow down!" Kyuubi growled from behind the small blond. He'd almost missed Naruto sneaking out of the restaurant and had reverted to his fox form in order to get away without Dante or Trish noticing.

Currently Naruto was trying to put as much distance between him and Dante as possible. If he stayed there, he'd take Fuzzy-sensei away from him… and even though he was mean sometimes, the fox was his only friend.

"I won't go back!" Naruto ran into a nearby alley, forcing Kyuubi to use a chakra enhanced jump to catch up to and tackle the blonde.

"Will you _listen_?!" Kyuubi snarled at him "It won't make a difference whether I'm sealed or not if we're both dead. Dante can't be everywhere at once and I can't keep protecting you forever. If my being sealed again is the only way to keep you alive then so be it".

"But I don't wanna be alone agai-" Naruto was interrupted by an abnormally large Assault that came lumbering into the alley knocking over and crushing a garbage can that was unfortunate enough to get in its way.

"Shit" Kyuubi muttered jumping in front of Naruto.

'I'd have a better chance of beating that thing in human form…' he thought putting his paws into a hand sign. He was about to channel his chakra when a thought struck him. Dante and Trish would still be busy with those ice demons and if he used his chakra to transform and attack, he'd just draw more demons to his and Naruto's location.

"And this isn't the greatest place to fight" he thought out loud as he glanced around the alley.

Leave it to Naruto to run into the one alley with a dead end. The only way they were getting out was through the ugly lizard thing moving towards them.

Kyuubi glanced back at Naruto and cursed again when he saw the condition the blond was in. He'd been terrified into paralysis and even if Kyuubi had ordered him to run, he probably wouldn't have heard him.

Though the fox had watched every step the demon had taken since entering the alley, he was taken completely by surprise when it surged forwards- covering the remaining distance between them in an instant and impaling Kyuubi on one of its claws.

He could have sworn the reptile grinned at him as it shook him off its claw and flung him into a wall, but then again he could have been delusional. Being gutted did that to a guy.

Kyuubi could only watch in horror as the demon advanced on a still terrified Naruto.

'Dammit…' he was too weak to talk anymore.

Naruto let out a scream as a clawed hand was raised into the air and in a flash of blue, brought down again.

---


	6. Enter The Demon

Disclaimer: I don't own DMC, I don't own Naruto, but I do own the right to subject them all to the horrific torture of fangirlism. *Evil Laughter*

To say that Dante was pissed was an understatement. That pizza place had been his last hope and the little blond brat and his fur ball friend had gotten him banned from it.

When he got his hands on them there would be hell to pay.

"Hey, Dante!" Trish's voice knocked him out of a slightly sadistic daydream that involved a fox and sharp pointy objects.

"You see what I see?" she asked pointing to a crowd of demons trying to stuff themselves into an alley a few blocks ahead of them.

"Naruto" they both muttered setting off at a run.

Dante had just reached the head of the alley when an oddly familiar blue light blew him and a large number of demons against the building on the opposite side of the street.

Trish, who'd figured something like that would happen, had scaled the side of the building so that she'd be able to look down into the narrow space of the alley without being in harm's way.

"…You've got to be kidding me" she muttered before glancing back at Dante who was taking out his mounting frustrations on any demon unfortunate enough to be within Rebellions reach.

"I just finished paying for this coat…" Dante growled at a Blade that had managed to put its claw through his chest.

He grabbed its arm and triggered.

---

He couldn't breathe… he couldn't think- he was in too much pain. One second Naruto was looking up into what would have been his eminent death, the next he's being choked against the wall by a white hot hand shaped glow stick.

He coughed as he tried to kick at the hand but his legs were too short and weak to do any sort of damage.

'Let me go! Please let me go! I don't wanna d-' suddenly the hand dropped him and for the first time, Naruto got a clear look at his newest attacker.

'He looks like Dante… only not as old… and Dante's not as scary…'

He took his eyes off the man to look across the alley at Kyuubi who was lying in a growing pool of blood.

The fox wasn't moving.

Naruto hadn't crawled more than an inch towards him when a Pride appeared in front of him with intention of killing him.

It seemed to grin as it swung at him and managed to leave a large gash in his right arm before he could roll away.

"Why won't you leave me alone?!" Naruto whimpered as it raised its scythe again.

"It's not nice to steal other people's kills" a voice whispered from behind the Pride.

The scary man was back.

Before the Pride could turn around, a large ominous looking blue hand appeared around it and slammed it mercilessly against the floor until there was nothing left but a pile of dust.

"Now, where was I?" Naruto shivered as he looked up into the man's blood red eyes. They reminded him of Fuzzy-sensei except this guy seemed a lot more likely to follow through with the threat of killing him.

He grinned sadistically before raising his right arm "You have power. I want it" he said it as though it were the simplest thing on earth.

"B-but" Naruto started. Even though at least three people had tried to explain it to him multiple times over the last day or so, Naruto had no clue why all the demons were after him. He couldn't give the guy his 'power' even if he wanted to.

"Did that sound like a question to you?" The blue arm suddenly shot towards Naruto and the blond screwed his eyes shut. Something told him this was going to hurt.

He waited for the pain but it never came.

"So your girlfriend wasn't enough for you? I'm flattered"

'Auntie Trish?' It'd taken ten minutes of his now infamous puppy eyes before he'd been allowed to call her that.

He peeked open an eye to see Trish being held by that ghostly looking hand looking severely annoyed.

The man just smirked at her. Naruto wanted to warn her about how dangerous that arm was and how it would smash her into dust if she didn't get away… but he couldn't get his voice to work.

"I swear everyone in this family is dysfunctional…"

The hand began to squeeze and Naruto felt tears fall from his eyes. Another person was going to die because of him…it was his fault. It was always his fault.

Across the alley, Kyuubi twitched.

---

Dante glared around the street looking for any demon that dared come his way. The demon hunter was not happy- the giant pile of blood soaked demon limbs could attest to that.

He froze when he felt not one, but two very familiar energy signatures coming from the alley.

"What the hell is he doing here?" he muttered before grabbing Rebellion and running off towards them.

---

Trish sighed. Things were getting out of hand faster than she would have liked. It was one thing to have to deal with Naruto and his random outburst of 'chakra' as Kyuubi called it, but dealing with Nero while he was on a psychotic killing spree was something else entirely.

Despite being a demon hunter of considerable skill, Nero had proven to be extremely possession prone… it was only May and this was the sixth time this year.

The last time it had happened, they had been working together on a particularly tricky mission and it hadn't been pretty. Nero had ended up with a lot of blood on his hands and not all of it had come from demons.

"Nero, put me down. Now" Trish narrowed her eyes at him. She didn't want to have to hurt him too badly- she genuinely liked the kid. And besides, Kyrie would probably kill her.

"Or what, bitch?" he grinned at her.

Her eyebrow twitched violently. Then again she could send him home in a box. Accidents did happen after all.

"Or I'll fry your nuts off you little prick"

"You know…" he started "it seems like there's a barrier of sorts between us…" Trish raised an eyebrow at him as he disappeared "and you know the fun thing about barriers?" he asked, tightening his grip on her as he shimmered into view dangerously close to her ear.

"They're made to be bro-" he didn't get to finish his sentence as Trish sent a particularly nasty round of lightning at him, forcing him to release her and knocking him into a brick wall where he left a decent sized crater before falling to the ground.

"You like to play rough…" he started, getting up and brushing himself off.

"And your mind is stuck in the gutter" Trish countered. She had to figure out a way to get Nero back to normal and calm Naruto down before more demons showed up. There was no doubt that more would come… not with the amount of chakra he was putting out.

"So, shall we dance?" Nero pulled Red Queen from his back and revved the blade before turning to leer at her.

Trish sighed. For the life of her, she couldn't figure out why Nero always turned into a foul mouthed pervert whenever possessed. She whipped out Luce and Ombra and aimed at Nero's forehead.

"Let's"

---

Dante could just feel the vein ticking on his forehead. He'd been expecting to see a lot of things when he got into the alley, but Trish doing her damdest to kill a bruised and battered Nero was not one of them.

"Can someone please tell me what the fuck is going on here?" He snapped, phasing behind Nero to chop him in the back of the neck, effectively knocking him out.

Trish muttered something about 'kill-joys' as Dante walked over to Kyuubi and prodded him with his foot once before picking him up by the back of his neck. The fox growled at him lightly as he carried him over to Naruto who had curled up in a ball and begun rocking back and forth.

Dante sighed as he dropped his devil trigger. It wouldn't do him any good if he scared the blond to death, now would it?

"Hey, kid" Dante bent down to poke Naruto lightly on his side, ignoring the hiss and smell of burning flesh that arose when his skin came into contact with demonic chakra for the umpteenth time today. He could only hope he was developing an immunity to the stuff by now.

"Everyone… Everyone I know dies because of me" Naruto whispered.

"Everyone?" Dante snorted "I'm not dead, Trish's still here and as annoying as he can be sometimes, Nero's alive…not kicking though…" he added as an afterthought.

Naruto looked at him blankly and Dante wondered momentarily if he might have said the wrong thing.

"You're not going to leave me…?" Naruto asked as Trish made her way over to them with Nero slung over her shoulder.

"Meh, I guess you've grown on me…" Dante shrugged and Trish kicked him.

"Violent woman…" Dante glared at her before turning back to Naruto "Look, I'm not gonna leave you. You attract more danger in 5 minutes than I do in a month and you've got some pretty decent potential as a fighter… it'd be a shame if you died so…" Dante was cut off as Naruto jumped on him, hugging him and crushing Kyuubi.

The fox could only groan internally as Naruto accidently put a knee against his slowly healing wound. Apparently he could recover from fatal wounds as long as he stayed in this form… the fact that Naruto had remained unharmed was an added bonus.

"Umm…? Dante? Trish tapped him nodding her head in the direction of a large concentration of demons about a mile away from them.

"Yeah, yeah…" he shifted Naruto in his arms so he could carry the blond in one arm and the fox in another- he'd known the fox had gotten squished, it was just punishment for getting him kicked out of the pizza place.

"C'mon, we've gotta get you sealed" Dante said, ignoring the uneasy look that flickered across Naruto's face as he started walking with Trish and an unconscious Nero following close behind

"And I know just the guy for the job".

AN: Finally got a chance to update ^-^and A cookie to anyone who can figure out who the 'guy for the job 'is.


	7. A Familiar Face

Disclaimer: I _still_ don't own them. Or sharpies.

* * *

The man in question was a master of demonic sealing arts known only Arashi Kazama. Dante'd met him 5 years before in an isolated part of Japan and as luck would have it, a few weeks earlier, he'd moved to Capulet City.

"Yo!" Dante kicked at the metal door lightly, leaving behind a small dent. Well, lightly by his standards. He would have knocked but his hands were full. Naruto wouldn't let Dante put him down and though he refused to admit it, Kyuubi's still healing wounds were too delicate to let him walk.

"Are you sure this is the right place?" Trish asked. Nero stirred and she tapped him lightly on the back of the head with a finger encased in electricity. They'd just have to fight him again if he woke up before the demon in him was exorcised

"One second!" a voice called from behind the door.

It hadn't taken long for Arashi to learn English—the guy was a friggin genius in everything he did.

Dante smirked as the door opened and a hastily dressed looking woman walked out with a ruffled looking Arashi not far behind. Unfortunately he genius at womanizing too, leaving the infamous son of Sparda second to one.

"Long time no see" Arashi said flashing an oddly fox like grin.

Dante sniffed at the air "Is that pepperoni pizza?"

"Yeah, I figured you'd pop up here eventually" he replied motioning for them to follow him inside the house.

"I knew there was a reason I liked you" Dante said, walking in after the blond haired man and completely missing the venomous look that the fox demon shot Arashi as they entered.

Trish on the other hand, hadn't and she arched an eyebrow before grabbing Nero by the back of his jacket and dragging him behind her.

* * *

Naruto could only stare in awe at his surroundings as Dante carried him down the hall after the weird blond man.

'This place is way bigger than it looks from outside…' Naruto thought one of the various pieces of art on the wall caught his eye. It was a painting of a fox that looked a lot like Kyuubi.

The fox in question was busy trying to see if he could get Arashi to spontaneously combust if he glared at him hard enough.

"Your pet fox doesn't like me very much, does he?" Arashi asked as he sweat dropped.

"Don't get too offended the furball doesn't like anyone" Dante said glancing down at Kyuubi who'd gone rigid.

"But Fuzzy-sensei likes me…" Naruto whined.

'Did he just call me a pet?'

"Only because he dies if you die"

'Blond. Bastard. Dies. _Now_'

"So would I be right to think that the recent spike in demonic activity that I've been hearing about has something to do with your furry friend?" Arashi asked as they entered a decent sized kitchen.

"Eh… something like that…" Dante spaced out when he caught sight of a large pie of pizza sitting on a cooling rack.

"No pizza for you until you explain what's going on" Arashi walked in front of the pizza and crossed his arms "There's never been this many high level demons in the city before".

"But this isn't my fau-"

"No buts. Talk or I burn the pizza" he reached in his pocket, took out a lighter and held it over the fresh baked pie to emphasize his point.

Trish watched the entire exchange from her position on the kitchen wall with extreme amusement. There were few humans who could talk to Dante without feeling intimidated by his demonic aura and even fewer who would even jokingly threaten him, much less keep in contact with him after their first meeting. Something about him being a magnet for life-threatening apocalyptic danger.

'He doesn't normally keep humans in the loop about demons…they're too easily corrupted. I wonder what's so special about this guy… especially since Dante never told me about him'. At that last thought a slightly irritated look crossed her face. It wasn't that she couldn't tolerate working with humans; she just didn't trust them not to get killed in the process of trying to be helpful. Lady, of course, was an exception.

"Fine…" Dante set Kyuubi gently on the kitchen table before grabbing a seat and by some miracle, convincing Naruto to take the chair next to him.

"Well, in a nutshell, this kid" he motioned towards Naruto "dropped down on my doorstep and slaughtered a group of mid to high level demons then fell asleep in the middle of the street".

"And?" Arashi flicked the lighter.

"And he attracts demons like moths to a flame. Some 'catra' thing… or something like that".

"It's chakra genius" Kyuubi snapped from his position on the table.

"Interesting" Arashi looked thoughtful for a moment "Sounds familiar, not sure from where though".

Kyuubi's jaw dropped "What do you mean familiar?"

Arashi shrugged "I'm pretty sure I've heard the term somewhere… Maybe it's from before…"

"Oh!" Dante snapped his fingers "And apparently the furball's a 10,000 year old demon lord sealed in the kid's stomach".

Arashi twitched "Shouldn't that have been the first thing you told me?"

"Eh…"

"I'm hungry…" Naruto whined all of a sudden.

Kyuubi looked at him in disbelief "You had an entire pie of pizza".

"Two actually" Trish corrected "and both of them were extra large".

Dante grinned "He's like a walking black hole when it comes to food"

"Sounds familiar…" Trish and Arashi muttered in unison.

Arashi sighed as he picked up the pizza and placed it on the kitchen table within reach of Dante and Naruto.

It didn't last more than 5 seconds.

"Hey! I _wanted_ some of that!" Arashi glared at the pair who'd tried to put on innocent looks. The leftover tomato sauce on their faces caused them to fail at it.

Epically.

"Is there a specific _reason_ you lot descended on my doorstep today?" Arashi said snippily as he went over to his fridge to scavenge for food.

"One, I need someone to get rid of the demon, loitering in Nero's body. The kid's a pain in the ass when possessed. And two, I need someone to alter Naruto's seal to limit the amount of _chakra_" he gave Kyuubi a nasty look "that he puts out, and you're the only guy I trust to do that".

Arashi settled for a soda, popped it open and drank it down "…I'm flattered, but-"

"Or we could let greater demons continue roaming the planet till they find Naruto, eat him and destroy the world with the power they absorb".

"Well, when you put it that way…" Arashi sighed and tossed his empty can in the trash "Ok, Naruto, could you lift up your shirt a minute so I can see your seal?"

Naruto hesitated "Are you gonna take Fuzzy-sensei away from me?"

"Sensei? You speak Japanese? And no, not if I can help it. He doesn't seem to be a malevolent demon so I see no reason why the two of you can't stay together.

"Okay…" Though he still looked doubtful, Naruto lifted his shirt over his stomach to show off the complex seal that hadn't faded since Kyuubi had left it.

Arashi whistled "That's some piece of work… I couldn't have done better myself."

Kyuubi coughed something that sounded oddly like 'No shit' and settled to glare at Arashi again.

* * *

Kyuubi sulked as Arashi poked and prodded at the seal.

'Your god forsaken villagers hunt me down and use my power to spite each other then _you_ come along and seal me in your hell spawn'.

"I think I may be able to tweak the seal a bit… So that it'll hold back most of his chakra"

'God knows what would have happened if I hadn't gotten us out of Konoha. He'd probably be the village idiot'.

"At least until he's mature enough to control it himself…"

'Not to mention a below-average ninja. I'd end up being the only thing special about him'

"Yeah, I can definitely tweak it. I'll fix it so the glaring ball of fluff there can stay out but still draw energy from the main pool inside Naruto"

'He'd rely on me for everything…eventually get me ki- … _what_ did he call me?'

Kyuubi's glare intensified 10 fold and Arashi actually shrank back from the fox.

"**Insignificant mortal! You dare to call me a**-" Kyuubi was forced to break off mid rant as the wound on his stomach gave a painful twinge he began coughing up blood.

Dante took this moment to give Kyuubi a short round of applause "You know, for a while there I doubted the whole 'Lord of all fox demons' thing, but you proved me wrong. You've got some serious potential.

"Remind me to kill you later" Kyuubi grumbled before laying down on the table to rest. He'd never change into his fox form again if he could help it. While he was effectively immortal, his wounds healed at an abnormally slow pace though none of this would be happening if it weren't for the irritating blond in front of him.

"You're a little too…delicate to move at the moment, so I'll have to alter the seal in here. Though I can think of a thousand better uses for my kitchen table…" he added the last part too quietly for normal humans to hear thus Naruto was left to stare cluelessly when Trish and Dante started laughing.

Kyuubi however had become thoughtful. If the seal was going to be altered to allow him to remain in the physical world, perhaps other 'features' could be added as well. He would never be completely free of Arashi's little brat, that much he was already certain of, but maybe he could be allowed to live separately from his host. All Kyuubi wanted was his own body. Without blonde hair. And about 20 years more age. He could care less about his chakra-they could share since there really was too much of it for one being.

"I need to double check a text…I'll be right back" Arashi said walking out of the room "and stay out of my fridge Dante!"

* * *

The second that Arashi was out of earshot, Dante waltzed over to the fridge and reached for the handle. It turned out there was a reason Arashi warned him away from the thing. It was like a bug zapper for demons. Or rather, half devils.

"Son of a bitch!"

"Well he did warn you" Trish chirped from her position on the wall. Nero twitched and she shocked him again "though I have to wonder about him… What's this guy's story anyway?"

Dante stole a glance at the too quiet Naruto before starting his story "Well, I met him in Japan 5 years ago. There was this sudden mass outbreak of demons and he just happened to be in the middle of it. He didn't have any memory about who he was other than his name and for a while he kept going on about a giant frog… weird. But the guy's a genius with seals, not to mention physical combat".

"Do you think one went wrong and wiped his memory?"

"Nah, the guy's too good for that. Remember that Bailee guy that tried to take out a portion of Toyko? Part of Mundus's upper guard?"

"Yeah…" she'd heard about that incident. A lot of people had gotten killed and no one knew exactly how the demon had been defeated.

"Well Arashi did that. Wiped the floor with him. Then kicked my ass for accidently putting a bullet through this old scroll on seals".

"You said he had no memory about his life?" Kyuubi cut in "At all?"

"Nope, nada. Why? You know something?"

"…Well"

"WHAT THE HELL?" Arashi roared from what sounded like halfway across the house. Dante tensed and pulled a hand on Rebellion and Trish shifted her body slightly into a defensive position.

They heard running and a few seconds later, Arashi burst into the kitchen.

"You're attracting every demon in the god damned country!" he screeched pointing at Kyuubi. Then he whirled around to glare down at Dante "YOU! You're a fucking magnet for trouble! I just looked out a window. The entire horizon is covered with demons. And not the low leveled crap that's supposed to be here either!"

"It's not that bad?" Dante tried. It sounded like Arashi was describing a good sized chunk of the underworld. With any luck, they'd start fighting amongst each other and cut their numbers by half.

"I saw an entire _herd_ of flaming cattle, Dante" He ran a hand through his head "Okay, You" he pointed to Naruto "Take off your shirt and sit on the table next to the fuzzball".

Kyuubi growled at him and Arashi snapped back "Not a _word_ out of you. I could have been enjoying time with my new girlfriend and instead I'm here with you trying to fix your omnipotent demonic magnet. You-" he pointed to Dante "Go put this on the back door" he handed him a paper seal. Do _not_ touch it after it's been activated" the demon hunter gave a mock salute before streaking towards the back of the house.

"I need you to place this on the front door" he said handing Trish an identical seal "same thing. Don't touch it after you stick it to the door. It's a protective seal that all but elite demons can penetrate. And by elite I mean, unless Mundus himself tries to fit his pretty little ass through that door, nothing demonic is getting in…or out".

"Interesting analogy"

"I'll tell you about it later"

Trish smirked at him once before making a beeline for the front door.

"And you..." he turned to Nero "are a magnet of another kind… God damn that man. He attracts every oddball in the book". He walked over to Nero and his Devil Bringer twitched. However, before the younger devil hunter could fully awaken, Arashi slapped a glowing paper seal on his forehead, making a mental note to design a charm to help out with the teen's likely frequent possessions.

Arashi turned back towards Naruto and left the seal to do its work. At most it would only be another minute before Nero was demon free and by that time, Dante and his lady friend would be back.

"Okay, this shouldn't take too long. I'm going to alter your seal so that… what's your name anyways? It's not important for the sealing but it's impolite of me not to have asked".

"Just call me Kyuubi" the fox would have preferred a dramatic introduction laden with smoke and giant glowing eyes, but he had neither the chakra nor the energy to do it. Besides, there were more important things to deal with. Like the legion of demons headed their way.

"Hmm… 'Nine Tails'… interesting. Okay, Naruto, I'm going to need you to lie down" Arashi reached in his pocket and took out what looked like a permanent marker.

"You're going to fix his seal with a giant sharpie?" Dante had returned from his errand.

Arashi clucked in annoyance "Since when are any of my tools actually what they look like? I did turn my fridge into a bug zapper after all".

Dante frowned "I'm a devil, not an insect".

"Have you looked in a mirror while you're in your trigger form? You look like a roach".

"He's… got you there…" a voice croaked from the side of the kitchen.

"Hey, kid! Welcome back to the world of the living!"

"Whatever" Nero reached up and peeled the now dormant seal off his face "anyone want to tell me how I ended up here? Last time I checked I was on a date with Kyrie".

"Dunno. You just sort of… appeared".

"Great…"

"If you two are done chatting, one of you be helpful and get the bottle marked 'red ink' out of the fridge" Arashi said while clearing things off the table.

"Not it!" Dante plopped down on a chair and crossed his arms.

Nero sighed "Red ink… got it" he said and went over to the fridge. Dante could only stare as he went in the fridge, retrieved the bottle and closed the door all without incident.

"My fridge is set only to zap you, Dante. Otherwise you'd eat me out of house and home" Arashi mused. He nodded his thanks at Nero when he was handed the bottle and immediately got to work.

The hardest part of altering a seal was being allowed to do it. The person doing the altering had to have a sort of 'permission' to edit the seal. Most masters of the sealing arts coded their work so that other people couldn't tamper with it. He supposed the maker of the complex seal on Naruto had gotten lazy at the last minute; otherwise it would have reacted to his prodding earlier.

"This shouldn't hurt a bit" Arashi emptied the bottle into the top of the marker and shook it to get the ink running as he walked over to Naruto.

"Um… Mister…could you do me a favor?" Naruto asked quietly.

"Hmm…?"

"Could you separate Fuzzy-sensei and me?"

Everyone turned to look at the little blonde in disbelief "Huh?"

"Fuzzy-sensei's not happy when he's around me…I don't want him to be sad. So could you make it so he can go away when he wants?"

Kyuubi shifted uncomfortably. Naruto had asked Arashi alter the seal to the exact specifications he'd wanted, but he'd done it in a way that made the demon fox feel guilty.

Sure he'd be able to leave the brat whenever he wanted- assuming Arashi did exactly as the boy had asked, but the kid had just laid on a guilt trip a mile long. He couldn't abandon Naruto after doing something so…nice for him.

'And not 24 hours ago I wanted to murder him for turning our mindscape that sickening 'kill me' orange'.

"I…wouldn't leave…" Kyuubi ground out. He'd bet his life he was going to regret those words in the coming years.

"Really?" Kyuubi made a mental note to never look at Naruto when he was giving him the 'puppy eyes' again.

"Ugh…Really. Can we please get on with the sealing?" those eyes would be the death of him.

"Sure" Arashi twirled the marker happily, almost like he had been waiting for Kyuubi to promise to stay with the boy…

'Damned blondes…'

"Try not to move while I do this, okay?" he gave Naruto a serious look and the little blond nodded. He'd do anything if it meant helping his best friend.

Arashi gave him a warm smile then got to work, drawing complex characters at seemingly random intervals around Naruto's seal.

Dante watched the editing process with extreme interest. Usually Arashi shooed him out of the room whenever he did anything involving seals.

It was almost as if the seal master was painting, the way he drew the elegant strokes on Naruto's stomach. Said blonde was doing his best not to squirm and laugh. The marker probably tickled.

'A minor change to regulate the exchange of energy…'

Arashi focused on the top right corner of the seal while fiddling with the marker a bit to give it a fine tip. Once he was satisfied with it he began drawing small sets of intricate symbols that seemed to dance for a moment before disappearing into Naruto's skin.

"That tickles!" the little blond laughed, barely managing to keep still.

"For now" Arashi replied as his attention drifted to the center of the seal. This was where he'd have to make the changed that would allow the demon fox to have his own body. Honestly he had no clue why the young boy was so determined to keep the fox with him.

'To each his own I guess… Hmm…' he paused for a moment 'I have absolutely no clue what the fox wants his body to look like…And I highly doubt he wants to look like Naruto…'

A loud thud from outside interrupted his thoughts. The demons had arrived.

'He can do it himself later' Arashi thought and started scribbling on the seal.

"Can someone fill me in on what exactly is going on?" Nero's Devil Bringer had lit up to the intensity of a small sun and he'd instinctively put a hand on the hilt of his sword.

"Demonic Magnet" Dante pointed towards Naruto "Demons" he pointed towards the kitchens only window that was now blacked out with the bodies of said demons.

"Almost done!" Arashi as he capped his marker. He surveyed his work one last time then glanced up at Naruto "You remember what I said earlier about this not hurting?"

"Yeah…"

Kyuubi caught on a lot quicker than his host and frowned briefly at Arashi before hopping onto Naruto's stomach and disappearing back into the seal.

Arashi slammed a suddenly glowing hand into the center of Naruto's seal.

"I lied".

* * *

AN: I can't believe I haven't updated in a year… Well, the good news, I've settled on an idea for the plot. The better news: The update times shouldn't be as long from now on and I won't abandon the story no matter how much I've come to dislike canon Naruto. The story is in the DMC universe thankfully and won't be going anywhere else for a _long_ while.

*Keeps cookie* Sadly, Vergil won't be making an appearance for another 2-4 chapters though someone familiar will make a brief appearance in the next one.

To any Nero/Kyrie fans: You are going to _hate_ me for what I'm going to do to them *evil grin*.


End file.
